Arts

RFK Jr. targets pre-meal chips and salsa in his latest crusade, sparking outrage in Grass Valley. Loretta Splitair hilariously skewers the absurdity while unpacking the broader chaos behind this tortilla-based controversy.

Nevada City bar band The Thorny Blackberries sold their entire original song catalog to Sony for $5.34. Known for hauntingly niche tunes like “Highway 49 Blues,” the Crazy Horse Saloon house band sees the deal as validation, even if it only buys them a single drumstick. “We’re corporate now,” says lead singer Zeke.

Jory Trebilcock of Rhode Island Street insists he's the great-grandson of "Propeller Guy," the man flung by the Titanic’s propeller. With no evidence, he’s convinced Grass Valley to host "Propeller Day," complete with Bigfoot theories, inflatable trampolines, and a Captain’s Hat Toss. Meanwhile, Nevada City scoffs—but hey, pasties will be served.

Stacy Grant, Nevada City’s queen of quirky, has turned the entire stock of San Quentin’s Handicraft Shop into Broad Street’s oddest new thrift store. With a reluctant Toby “Doob” Carnevale slouching behind the counter, selling inmate-made ashtrays and license plates, this shop is a must-see for anyone looking for a dash of “prison chic” with their kombucha.

Protests erupt as the Del Oro Theater in Grass Valley refuses to screen Matt Walsh’s controversial film Am I Racist, prompting outrage from Walsh and Elon Musk. While the right-wing duo cries “censorship,” local activists applaud the decision, steering the community clear of divisive rhetoric. In the end, the Del Oro stands firm, prioritizing unity over outrage.

Nevada City's Greg Thompson has become infamous for his relentless hatred of mayonnaise, ensuring that no social event passes without his passionate critique of the condiment. From its “gloopy” texture to his conspiracy theory about “Big Mayo,” Greg’s anti-mayo rants have become legend. Friends and neighbors, while tolerant, have heard it all before—and will likely hear it all again.

Pop superstar Taylor Swift is set to perform a surprise concert at the Nevada City Minor Foundry, thanks to her cousin’s influence. While local Swifties are ecstatic, the Nevada County Republicans are outraged, planning a protest against what they see as Swift’s liberal agenda. Expect a clash of glitter and gas as Nevada City gears up for this unforgettable event.

Eddie Vedder and Stevie Nicks’ new single, “Mumbles in the Mist,” from their album Soul Reverberations, is a masterclass in incomprehensibility. With lyrics that sound like they were cobbled together from a drunk séance and music that’s as murky as the lyrics, fans are left scratching their heads—or just plain giving up on deciphering the nonsense.

Grass Valley inventors Bob "Bassman" Wilson and Doug "Decibel" Smith have unveiled "Big Bertha," the world's largest subwoofer. Powered by a repurposed Boeing 747 engine, it boasts a 20-foot diameter woofer and 1.21 gigawatts of power. Capable of rearranging furniture and inducing seismic activity, this colossal creation is set to make waves—both literally and figuratively.