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    Grass Valley Graffiti Obviously Done By Local Dumbasses

    The local police are asking for any grammatically-correct information.

    Guinea Pig Obtains Higher Consciousness In Pile Of Timothy Hay

    An area guinea pig has found peace and self-actualization after his 11-year-old owner Stephanie Jameson accidentally gave the creature a double amount of timothy hay earlier this week.

    Chemtrail Film Festival Coming To Nevada City, CA

    The Chemtrail Action Network (CAN) announced the first-ever traveling Chemtrail Film Festival coming to Nevada City, CA this August. The film festival will be making its first stop in the secluded Sierra Nevada Foothills town for a 4 day run starting on the 14th of August and running until the 18th.

    Locals: Who Do I Have to Blow to Get A Meal Delivered in this Town?

    I would happily pay a delivery charge-hell, I'd even tolerate a long wait time if it meant I didn't have to put on pants, set down my Manhattan, drag my ass downtown, put out my cigarette, and talk to people. I shouldn't have to talk to people to eat.

    Fear and Loathing in Reno: Boomtown’s Famous Lobster Buffet by Loretta Splitair

    Like all buffets in casinos, there is a lot of fanfare before one reaches the restaurant, typically buried in an obscure location within the building's bowels. But, I have to admit, and I was excited seeing all of the billboards on my approach.

    Local Coffee Roaster To Sell Poop-Processed Celebrity Coffee

    Long-time Nevada City resident, entrepreneur, and coffee aficionado Sarah Benfer is opening the Nation's first "human processed" coffee roaster featuring celebrities.

    Is Comedian Keith Lowell Jensen U2’s The Edge?

    What started out as an outrageous rumor on 4chan.com, has turned into a full-blown conspiracy theory for Sacramento-based comedian Keith Lowell Jensen.

    Area Worker Implements Nuclear Strike Protocols During All Hands Meeting

    A shocked Adjunct Video CEO Jeffery Oldheim seen here listening to co-worker Perry Clayson rattle off nuclear preparation protocols.

    Existentialists Booted from Ross Clothing Store for Smoking

    French Existentialists were removed from a Ross Dress for Less clothing store after ignoring numerous requests to stop smoking.

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