News

RFK Jr. targets pre-meal chips and salsa in his latest crusade, sparking outrage in Grass Valley. Loretta Splitair hilariously skewers the absurdity while unpacking the broader chaos behind this tortilla-based controversy.

Doug Harper’s late-night Tinder browsing turns into a tropical nightmare when he matches with his own wife, Susan. The couple grapples with cocktails, rain, and the limits of modern romance.

A headline so redundant it hurts: officials confirm a deceased man under Foresthill Bridge was indeed from Santa Rosa. This masterclass in obvious reporting leaves residents bemused and the media's motives questioned.

The Humpty Dumpty Kitchen in Grass Valley now humorously labels mayonnaise as “spicy,” a nod to its conservative patrons’ mild tastes. Locals love the joke, while neighboring foodies find it hilariously old-school.

Alta Sierra, a development where debates on gas prices and PG&E conspiracies reign, finds a new target for its paranoia: Subaru gangs from Sacramento. Amid wild accusations of organic tamale takeovers, cryptid drivers, and backyard investigations, Supervisor Ed Scofield and residents grapple with escalating absurdity. As the line between suspicion and satire blurs, the trash wars rage on.

Grass Valley’s Bud Furbenny, known for his conspiracy-laden videos about roundabouts, Bigfoot, and chemtrails, is suing YouTube after auto-captions turned his name into “Bugs Fuckbunny.” The video went viral not for his theories, but for the unfortunate closed caption error. While Furbenny demands justice, locals laugh and wonder if this mishap was another plot in his wild theories.

In a misguided social media-fueled resurrection attempt, Redding’s Bethel Church youth group unwittingly reanimated Pete “Lazzy T” Trevino, an infamous local killer. Although briefly resurrected, Trevino quickly clarified he’s “still dead” spiritually—and has since been dismissed from various “second-chance” roles, including at a Quickie Mart. Bethel’s youth now plan less dramatic endeavors as Trevino fades back into legend.

Grass Valley’s own Daryl McCracken is recovering from rabies and tularemia after rescuing a squirrel he believes is the target of a government conspiracy. Despite no interest from local authorities, McCracken insists he’s been “targeted” for his activism. Ignoring medical advice and raising a sparse $18, McCracken remains undeterred, vowing to continue his mission to protect Liberty the Squirrel from “the deep state.”

When her latest solo intimacy session didn’t go as planned, Nevada City’s own Mitzy McConnell took to Instagram and Facebook, blaming “deep-seated societal negativity” for her inability to align with her inner goddess. Self-described as a liberated, empowered woman, Mitzy now finds herself locked in a self-imposed purgatory, wondering if the world’s dissonant energies are to blame for her failed transcendence.