Sacramento, CA — A Mokelumne Hill man is in critical but stable condition after falling from the Forest Hill bridge in what appeared to be a failed suicide attempt. Still, then officials speculated it was an accident. Robert Allen was checked into UC Davis Medical Center in Sacramento with gun wounds he sustained while under the influence of heroin earlier this week.

According to a police report filed by the Placer County Sheriff, Mr. Allen, 38, became distraught after an undisclosed domestic dispute with his long-time girlfriend. Mr. Allen had decided to either take his own life or get high. He chose to take heroin while parked at the scenic overlook at the county’s tallest bridge.

Unfortunately for him, while crossing the bridge after taking a non-lethal dose of the opiate, Mr. Allen accidentally shot himself in the foot with a small handgun. As a result, he tumbled over the side of the 730ft bridge.

As luck would have it for the unusually unlucky Mr. Allen, someone had dumped a rather large stack of memory foam mattresses at the bottom of the ravine softening his landing. The failed suicide victim broke a few bones and suffered a moderate concussion.

Two Homeless Men Witness His Tumble

Two homeless men camped under the bridge saw Mr. Allen tumble from the bridge and alerted authorities that a man had landed on a stack of Tempurpedic mattresses.

“Jake and I were having a smoke between storms,” said homeless man Harry “Herb” Sepulveda, describing the day’s events. “We heard this gunshot, and someone shouted ‘god damn it from the bridge. The next thing we knew, this fella was falling. Jake was like, ‘oh shit, another one.’ I coulda swore the guy was swearing all the way down.”

“Yeah, that lucky bastard hit the only pile of mattresses on the American River,” said fellow homeless man Jake Lamotta. “We just sat there for a few seconds staring at him on the mattresses. Then, finally, I went up to flag a car, and Herb went down to see if he was OK.”

Placer County Search and Rescue, aided by Reach Helicopter services, could extract Mr. Allen, who was conscious and “swearing like a sailor,” according to paramedics, and transport him to UC Davis.

“That’s just like me,” Mr. Allen said from his hospital bed, covered in bandages. “I couldn’t even kill myself the right way. I screwed that up. But since I survived, I don’t want to die anymore. That was a mistake, for sure. Beth [his previously estranged girlfriend] and I have made up, and we’re all good now. So things work out, you know?”

The Tempurpedic mattress company could not be reached for comment.