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Grass Valley, CA — The Grass Valley Police Department is investigating a series of “grammatically incorrect” malicious defacings of local businesses. The graffiti, which was discovered on several Mill Street businesses, occurred over a few days and is obviously the work of one or more dumbasses.

“We first received a call Saturday morning from a merchant on Mill Street complaining about ‘terrible’ graffiti on the side of his business,” said Grass Valley detective Chad Cankerblist. “When we investigated, we found multiple defacing by as many as three perpetrators.”

According to Detective Cankerblist, they have several leads on the criminals and are looking for either an Eric or a Heather who may have more information on the defacing.

“We’re looking for any information related to Eric, Heather, lovers of beer, or dream followers who have terrible grammar.” continued Cankerblist. “We understand that applies to many people in the greater Grass Valley region, but we’d appreciate your help. The merchant has offered a $500 reward leading to the conviction of these, in his words, ‘dumbasses.'”