Grass Valley, CA – In an age where smartphones reign supreme and eyes are locked on screens, a unique chiropractor is making waves in Grass Valley. Meet Dr. Al Capopped, a chiropractic maverick specializing in a modern malady: the ‘Tech Neck,’ where people’s necks and heads are perpetually angled downwards, hostages to their handheld devices.
“It’s a modern-day curse,” says Dr. Capopped as he adjusts a patient’s neck. “Our ancestors looked to the stars; we’re just looking at screens. I’m here to rectify that—vertebra by vertebra.”
His clinic is a haven for the tech-obsessed and posture-challenged. Patients like Harry Balzac and Anita Mann, both confessed phone addicts, have found solace and relief under Dr. Capopped’s care.
“I knew I needed help when I texted ‘LOL’ in response to a face-to-face joke,” admits Harry, nursing a sore neck. “Dr. Capopped is helping me rediscover the horizon.”
Yet, not everyone in town is convinced. A group of local teens, eyes fixated on their latest social media feeds, dismiss the notion. “Tech Neck? More like a stiff-necked approach to progress,” scoffs one, her thumbs a blur over her smartphone keyboard.
Amid his bustling clinic, Dr. Al Capopped shared details of his unorthodox and patented technique for correcting Tech Neck, which raises eyebrows and heads.
“It’s a three-part process,” he explains, with a mischievous glint in his eye. “First, I have my patients text their last goodbye to their phones. It’s a ceremonial parting, which sets the mood. Then, we move to the ‘Neck-o-Matic’—a contraption I devised that gently bops the head upwards whenever they instinctively look down. Think of it as a tech-savvy cuckoo clock. For the finale, I perform a synchronized dance routine with the patient, set to the tune of vintage dial-up internet sounds. The rhythm is crucial for spinal alignment.”
Patients like Anita Mann swear by the technique, though she admits, “It’s bizarre. I never thought I’d tango to the screeches of dial-up as part of my chiropractic treatment, but here we are!”
Dr. Capopped’s methods, while unconventional, highlight a whimsical and earnest effort to combat a very modern problem.
Dr. Capopped, undeterred, continues his mission with a blend of humor and healing.
“They say laughter is the best medicine, but when it comes to Tech Neck, a good old-fashioned neck crack does wonders, too.”
In a world where downward gazes are the norm, Dr. Capopped stands as a reminder: sometimes, you must look back to look forward.