Roseville, CA — The controversial restaurant known for sex discrimination lawsuits and scantily clad women workers, Hooters, announced today that they are opening over 50 gas stations across the country. The first one will be located in Roseville, CA, near the Costco.
“This is a great time for our company,” spokesperson Bethany Millbright said. “We are bringing that unique Hooters experience to your filling station. You can expect the same high-quality, stimulating good time every time you fill it up, tap your fluids, and test your pressures.”
In an ambitious move to redefine the fueling experience, Hooters’ new gas stations promise more than just gas and snacks. “Think of it as a pit-stop party,” beams Millbright, detailing plans for weekly events like ‘Wing Wednesdays’ and ‘Fuel-Up Fridays,’ where attendants perform synchronized dances around the pumps. “It’s all about bringing that lively Hooters spirit to everyday errands. Who says you can’t have a blast while checking your tire pressure?”
Ms. Millbright says all stations will be full-service, and customers can sample chicken wings and fried cheese sticks at each location.
“You’ll never have to get out of your car,” continued Ms. Millbright, “we’ll fill you to the brim with everything you’d expect from Hooters. And after 10 pm, the wings get extra spicy, if you know what I mean.”
Not everyone is happy about Roseville’s latest business. Local activist and self-described ‘Target-o-holic’ shopper Misty Smith had a few less-than-kind words for the Hooter’s latest enterprise.
“This is the kind of stuff they’d let fly up in Nevada County,” said an angry Ms. Smith outside her tidy and well-manicured Roseville tract home. “This used to be such a quiet, conservative community, and now, this filth. Did you know you have to be 18 to go there? Are they going to post warning signs for parents? This is just disgusting.”
The community’s response continues to be mixed. Local yoga instructor and vegan café owner Luna Green, expressed her concerns.
“It’s just so, well, extra,” she sighed, adjusting her fair-trade hemp scarf. “I mean, I’m all for business innovation, but do we really need a mini-Mardi Gras every time someone needs a quart of oil?”
Meanwhile, college students in the area seem thrilled, with one exclaiming, “It’s like Spring Break at the gas station!” as he high-fived his friends. The juxtaposition of the traditional, quiet suburban life with the boisterous, party-like atmosphere of Hooters stations has undoubtedly stirred up Roseville’s usually calm waters.
The station opens on January 20 for the Super Bowl, offering a free bucket of chicken wings with a fill-up coupon. Coupons are available at nearby Hooters restaurants.