Grass Valley, CA — Reacting to Target’s ban of the Babylon Bee from its shelves, former President Donald Trump mistakenly called for a nationwide boycott of Panera Bread during a rally in Knoxville, Tennessee. This misstep has added a layer of absurdity to an already unusual situation, stirring confusion and humor across the country.

Target, the well-known retail giant, has made a surprising announcement: it is banning the popular online satirical publication Babylon Bee from its stores. A leaked internal memo reveals this move aligns with Target’s “progressive and inclusive values.” The memo humorously challenges the practicality of banning a digital publication from physical shelves and urges employees to remain vigilant against any “rogue digital content” infiltrating their Wi-Fi networks.

Hester Dimmesworth, a conservative Christian and fan of the Babylon Bee expressed her discontent.

“It’s a dark day for America when a store bans the funniest publication ever, especially those articles about non-traditional types,” she said, clutching her smartphone with the Bee’s latest piece. Unaware that Target does not physically sell the publication, she added, “I came here to buy their latest issue. What am I supposed to read now?”

Arthur Chillingsworth, the puzzled manager of Grass Valley’s Target, also struggled with the concept.

“I’m not sure how we can remove something we never sold. Customers have been flipping through magazines looking for the Babylon Bee,” he said, scratching his head.

The ban has drawn attention to free speech issues by echoing the national debate around book censorship. Pearl Prynne, a local LGBTQ+ activist, offered her perspective, saying, “Imagining Target banning a digital publication from its shelves underscores the absurdity of censorship and the harm in the Babylon Bee’s so-called ‘satire.'” She added, “It’s ironic, considering the support for book bans in schools from similar groups.”

Babylon Who?

However, not everyone was caught up in the latest news cycle frenzy. Roger Chillingdale, found in the Target parking lot, seemed non-plussed about the controversy.

“I’m just here for laundry detergent and cat food. Babylon Bee? Is that a new brand?” he asked, underlining the limited reach of these debates.

Community reactions have varied. Social media buzzed with memes of Target employees removing Babylon Bee issues, while conservative groups, thrown off by Trump’s error, redirected their protests from Panera Bread back to Target.

The intricacies of Target’s ban on digital publications remain a mystery, and the chain has yet to release any further comments.