Nevada County Approves Claymore Mines to Ward Off Deer

Nevada City, CA — The Nevada County Board of Supervisors has voted to approve using claymore mines as a humane deterrent against the county’s ever-persistent deer population. The new policy, officially named the “Deer Explosive Relocation Initiative (DERI),” aims to provide homeowners with an effective method to protect their gardens while maintaining the delicate balance between man and beast—or, more accurately, between man and his begonias.

The “Deer Explosive Relocation Initiative (DERI)” is Nevada County’s latest, perhaps most unconventional, approach to managing the persistent deer population wreaking havoc on local gardens and landscapes. Officially approved by the Nevada County Board of Supervisors, DERI allows homeowners to deploy claymore mines—the same devices initially designed for military use—to gently persuade deer to seek alternative dining locations far from precious begonias and prized tomato plants.

The initiative is framed as a “humane deterrent,” with the explosive devices intended to create noise and shockwaves rather than causing harm. The claymores are to be strategically placed around vulnerable garden areas, with careful attention to the “This side toward enemy” label, rebranded as “This side toward four-legged salad enthusiasts.”

The decision was reached after a surprisingly lively discussion, with most of the Board members expressing strong support for the initiative.

“We’re not aiming to harm the deer,” claimed the proposal. “The claymore mines are just a gentle, albeit loud, suggestion for the deer to find other dining spots—preferably far away from our prize-winning roses and carefully cultivated tomatoes.”

However, Supervisor Heidi Hall (District 1) was the lone voice of dissent, citing her deep-seated concern for public safety and her well-known advocacy for gun control. “I have an inherent fear of anything that goes ‘bang,'” Hall stated, visibly uneasy during the vote. “I understand the frustration with the deer, but this measure seems excessive. We should explore non-explosive alternatives that don’t involve re-enacting a scene from a war movie in our backyards.”

In contrast, Ed Scofield (District 2) supported the measure and admitted with a wry smile that he had used claymore mines in his yard for years. “Not just for the deer, either,” Scofield confessed. “Honestly, I’ve been setting them up just for the hell of it. It’s surprisingly therapeutic, and my garden’s never looked better.”

Supervisor Dan Miller (District 3) chimed in with pragmatic support, noting that “desperate times call for desperate measures,” while Sue Hoek (District 4) shrugged and said, “If it keeps the deer out of my pumpkin patch, I’m all for it.” Meanwhile, Hardy Bullock (District 5) took a more philosophical approach, musing on the circle of life and how “sometimes, that circle needs a little explosive encouragement.”

Despite the mixed reactions, the “Deer Explosive Relocation Initiative” will be implemented next month, aligning perfectly with the height of the gardening season. Homeowners are advised to follow safety protocols and ensure the mines are appropriately placed with the “This side toward enemy” label facing outward—a crucial detail that will hopefully prevent any unfortunate incidents involving beloved pets or, heaven forbid, delivery drivers.

In the meantime, local stores are reporting a surge in sales of claymore mines, and landscaping companies are quickly adding “mine-placement” to their list of services. The deer, as usual, remain blissfully unaware of the impending change in their dining options, though residents may soon notice a marked decline in flatlander, Instagram-worthy deer photos, replaced by the occasional plume of smoke rising from a well-fortified garden.