Nevada City, CA – In light of recent announcements from both the State of California and the city of San Francisco, the town of Nevada City, CA, revealed plans to pay reparations to its one, or maybe two African American citizens, causing considerable astonishment and disbelief in the primarily white Sierra foothills hamlet.

According to insiders, the reparations package will include financial compensation and educational and housing options over the following five years. The payment has yet to be calculated, but Nevada City’s mayor expects it will be in the tens of thousands of dollars per person.

The issue on everyone’s mind, however, is why? With only two black residents in the entire town, many dispute the need for such a step.

“I just don’t understand why they’re doing this,” said John “Booze” Allen, a local electrician. “It simply does not make sense.”

However, the mayor contends that the city’s small African American population is precisely why the reparations package is vital and cost-effective.

“While we don’t have a huge African American population, the two citizens we have to deserve to be compensated for the injustices they have endured,” she added.

Many white residents of the notoriously liberal Nevada City have praised the decision, saying it is long overdue.

“I’ve always felt guilty about how African Americans have been treated in this town,” said Cottage Street’s Linda Green, a long-time resident of Nevada City. “I’m glad we’re finally taking steps to make things right.”

However, some locals have criticized the move, saying that the small number of African American residents in Nevada City makes the reparations package “a token gesture.”

“I don’t see how two people can represent the entire African American community,” said Henry Shaft Hendleson, a Broad Street business owner. “It seems like a bunch of guilty white people thinking they’re making a difference when they’re not doing anything at all.”

This effort has also piqued the curiosity of many other cities around the country, with many exploring similar programs.

“This is just the beginning,” the mayor remarked. “We hope to see genuine change in Nevada City and throughout the country.”

In related news, neighboring Penn Valley took an interest in the announcement and decided it wouldn’t let ‘Hippie’ Nevada City get the best of them. So town officials said it plans to hand out over $4 million to each of its zero African-American citizens. Four miles away in Grass Valley, both announcements were deliberately ignored.

Only time will tell if Nevada City and its two black residents will benefit from this bold decision. But one thing is certain: this story is generating national news and raising quite a stir.

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