Nevada City, CA — As Nevada City marches into the new year, first on the agenda according to City Hall insiders will be a declaration that Nevada City is a 5G-free zone. This will make the rustic gold rush town the first in the nation to enact such a law.
“It’s clear that the global elites are trying to control everything,” said Green Party member Derrick Packard speaking after the swearing-in ceremony. “We need to demonstrate to the world that the buck stops here in Nevada City. If you control the radio waves, you control life itself.”
When asked what impact a local ordinance would have on the global 5G conspiracy to irradiate our bodies, Mr. Packard bristled.
“This is about small steps,” continued an agitated Mr. Packard. “Think global; act locally. I’m sure you’ve heard that before, right? Built into the proposed ordinance is language that allows us to use the city’s general fund to sue neighboring communities that don’t ban 5G radio waves. We are under no illusion that this is an uphill battle, but we mean business.”
Could Cost the City Millions of Dollars
According to the Nevada City Treasurer, it is unclear what the fiscal impact will be on this ordinance. However given the recent litigious and fruitless efforts by the county Board of Supervisors, legal action could run into the millions.
The tab could be especially high due to the fact that there is zero evidence of any global 5G cellular radiation conspiracy, which could contribute to forensic investigations outlays reaching into the millions before the first court motion is drafted. Despite this, area activists are unrelenting.
“How much is it worth to you to save the planet or your brain from cancer?” Questioned Mr. Packard as he pointed in random directions around Nevada City. “We want the world to know that our little town is leading the charge against the elite eggheads who want everything for themselves. As Howard Zinn taught us… (Editor’s note: Mr. Packard went on for another 45 minutes discussing Professor Zinn.)”
As for other pressing Nevada City business, also on the agenda is the a motion to remove all radio producing devices except for local radio station KVMR where several council members host a weekly broadcast on the dangers of Electromagnetic Radiation.
There is also a proposed name change of the city to Los Mineros to better represent Nevada City’s 150 years of taco and gold miner heritage.