Nevada City, CA — A mysterious pile of bricks appeared on the corner of Broad and Pine Streets early this week, leading to speculation of their origin. Nevada City officials say they are investigating the unauthorized dump of over 420 bricks, which is not only blocking sidewalk traffic but seems to be triggering an influx of complaint emails from area conservatives.
“Can’t you see what’s going on here?” Questioned area conservative Aaron Bryce in a ranting email to the city council. “This is exactly what Trump warned about. They’re not even hiding their intentions, and you [the city council] are doing nothing to stop it. All of you will be held accountable by real Americans.”
Other residents seemed more confused than alarmed.
“Why would they be doing construction in the middle of a pandemic,” shouted Beth Abel through her surgical mask from the porch of her Cottage Street home. “I mean, I guess if they’re practicing social distancing, that would be OK. But why dump them in the middle of the sidewalk like that. Doesn’t seem smart to me.”
Several business-operated security cams spotted a blue Ford truck unloading the brick pile around 4:20 am this morning. The F-350’s license plates were oddly blocked-out, and the driver was wearing a dark hoodie, making it difficult to make out her face.
“When I came in this AM, I noticed the pile of bricks, and I didn’t think much of it,” said attorney Brace Huntington whose brick-lined office is across the street. “I thought the building owner was finally going to repair my building. But when my paralegal came in, she said I needed to check the webcam. I’ve turned over the video files to the city.”
According to at least one city insider, there are concerns about community division given recent controversial comments from the mayor. Also, some of the more conspiracy-minded residents cite recent suspicious “estate sales” and curious mask distribution programs in Nevada City as reasons to worry.
“Look, we’re ready for the Black Lives Matter communists,” continued Mr. Bryce. “We have a long history of taking care of people who don’t belong here. People who aren’t from around here need not be causing trouble.”