Alta Sierra, CA — With many recent reports of Bigfoot sightings in the Alta Sierra subdivision in the past year, local amateur cryptozoologist, paranormal investigator, and SciFi Channel fan Keith Bradenshauer has released a photo that shows an area man doing absolutely nothing noteworthy.
“I keep my SLR handy at all times,” said a mood-elevated Mr. Bradenshauer from his Francis Drive home Sunday afternoon. “Anyhow, I was making my way up to the proposed Dollar General location when I snapped a picture of this guy in a green truck pulling our of the Alta Sierra Market quickly. He was screaming and pounding his steering wheel.”
According to witnesses exiting the iconic local convenience store, the man in the green truck seemed “normal” while shopping.
“I was in there see, picking up supplies for the evening, if you know what I mean,” said drunk Alta Sierra resident Sal Smith holding a bag of liquor. “The guy in the truck was in front of me. He had a 12 pack of Bud, BBQ Corn Nuts, and a bag of Funyuns. I heard the commotion in the parking lot, but didn’t know it was him.” When asked if he usually observes what other people are buying, Mr. Smith said, “yes, like everyone else, numb-nuts.”
According to Mr. Bradenshauer, he has no plans on stopping is photographic sleuthing anytime soon.
“Look, that’s my job,” continued Keith. “I’m like the neighborhood watch, but for weird shit, you know? I’m also working on my own Youtube show. One day, I tell you, I’ll get the shot.”