Penn Valley, CA — In what some residents are calling a relief, the Lake Wildwood Commission on Proper Traffic and Etiquette or LWCPTE announced late last week that the private gated community will lower the speed limit to 24 mph from its current 25 mph.

The decision, which has been months in the making, is designed to improve safety and reduce complaints from Lake Wildwood residents, but also to reduce injuries. Over the past 10 years the commission noted that as many 14 residents have sustained elbow injuries due to violent fist-shaking at speeding cars. Some required hospitalization with extended sedation.

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“I can’t tell you how happy I’m about this,” said recent Bay Area transplant and lake front resident Stilty Addams, who also sat on the LWCPTE committee. “When we moved here from Marin [County], we didn’t expect the same kind of crazy driving here as we did in San Rafael. So something had to be done. Obviously shouting at passing cars wasn’t doing anything, so maybe a traffic ticket will.”

The new ordinance calls for lowering the speed limit by 1mph, but not changing the signs nor warning non-residents of the change.

“That’s the genius of it,” continued Mr. Addams. “No one will know except for residents. The idea is all these outsiders will start getting speeding tickets and stop coming here. Problem fixed. We’re removing the incentive of others to speed. Sure, it’s OK to tell relatives and friends about the changes, but we hope to catch that riff-raff from Grass Valley and Nevada City who like to joy ride through our community at 30mph.”

Fines Increasing

Along with the speed reduction, fines will increase from $75 to $150 dollars for each mile per hour over the speed limit which a maximum of $850.00 per infraction.

“That’s the most the State ill allow per ticket. But we think it’s a small price to pay for the kind of tranquility Lake Wildwood residents  have come to expect.”

In related news, the LWCPTE also decided to fine Canadian geese each time they defecate within 50 feet of a home or street. This is a follow-up ordinance to the one passed late last week requiring the United State Immigration and Enforcement Service (ICE) to remove illegal Canadian geese within the community’s borders.