Grass Valley, CA – Local radio station KNCO, known for its folksy charm and journalistic standards that can generously be described as “optional,” took a bold step into the realm of the absurd on September 9th when it broadcast a full day of baseless rumors accusing Nevada County’s homeless population of eating all the ducks, house cats, and—most concerning of all—raiding our local Bigfoot jerky supply.
While actual reporters were busy covering, you know, real news, KNCO treated its retiree-heavy audience to a string of far-fetched, fearmongering tales so ludicrous they would make even a cryptozoologist blush. Starting with the bizarre claim that homeless camps were decimating the local duck population (because who needs bread crumbs when there are “wild homeless feasts” to talk about?), the day’s programming quickly spiraled into full-blown hysteria. Before long, KNCO had linked the local houseless community to the mass disappearance of house cats—and, of course, the poaching of the county’s most sacred cryptid: Bigfoot.
As if the claims weren’t enough to draw skeptical laughter from anyone still clinging to reason, KNCO pulled out what they considered to be “evidence” in the form of Dale Hawkins, a local character who moved to Grass Valley from Santa Monica in pursuit of the town’s rumored Bigfoot jerky trade. Hawkins, recently photographed tenderly cradling a duck at his campsite, was bizarrely thrust into the spotlight as KNCO hosts speculated that he might be a key player in the alleged homeless “duck-to-Bigfoot pipeline.”
“We have reason to believe the homeless are harvesting local cats for barbecues and might be running an underground trade in Bigfoot jerky,” one particularly impassioned caller claimed. At the same time, the hosts nodded along in enthusiastic agreement, without so much as a pause to verify the existence of said jerky—or the notion that Bigfoot is wandering around the Sierra foothills in the first place. Dale Hawkins was briefly mentioned as “an expert” in cryptid meats. However, KNCO failed to mention his quest for Bigfoot jerky and instead implied he might be part of a covert operation to “supply local camps with exotic meats.” Whether or not Hawkins has found Bigfoot—or a duck recipe—remains unclear.
Despite the grotesque absurdity of these claims, the station’s crack editorial team (we’re assuming it’s made up of a guy with a landline, a coffee pot, and a Google search bar set to “1972”) failed to issue any retractions after the allegations were roundly debunked the following morning. But why let facts get in the way of a good fear campaign?
In an apparent attempt to jump on the misinformation bandwagon started by JD Vance’s latest crusade against Haitian refugees in Ohio, KNCO decided that the real threat in Grass Valley isn’t addiction, affordable housing, or the rising cost of living—it’s ducks, cats, and mythical creatures.
“The homeless are coming for your pets next, and if they’re not already in your yard roasting a tabby on a spit, you’re probably next on their list,” one KNCO host warned, with a gravitas generally reserved for national emergencies.
One might have hoped that KNCO would at least try to rise above its tendency to throw caution—and truth—to the wind. But no, their broadcast instead swam joyfully in the murky waters of irresponsible journalism, dragging their listeners down into a fantasy world where the homeless are basically cartoon villains snacking on everything from your neighbor’s Maine Coon to Bigfoot’s femur.
And where was the editorial team during all this? Oh, right—probably congratulating themselves on a job well done while diligently avoiding any actual reporting on Nevada County’s homelessness crisis. After all, why address a complex social issue when you can instead whip up fear about imaginary pet-eating mobs?
KNCO’s refusal to issue a retraction only deepens the absurdity. Why retract anything when you can double down on the narrative that local homeless people are assembling underground duck-feasting rings and poaching Bigfoot on weekends? We can only assume their next segment will blame people experiencing homelessness for a chupacabra sighting in Pioneer Park or a rash of UFO landings in Brunswick Basin. Perhaps Dale Hawkins will even be back to explain his role in these ongoing “mysteries.”
What’s next for KNCO? Reporting that people experiencing homelessness are siphoning gas from Teslas or conducting covert otter hunts in Lake Wildwood? In the world of KNCO, it’s not about getting things right—it’s about creating the wildest, most unsubstantiated claims possible and letting them ride the airwaves without even the tiniest whiff of a fact check.
After all, why bother with facts when fearmongering plays so much better in the afternoon time slot?
