“People Act Weird Around Me,” Claims Area Man Driving Used Police Car

    An area handyman doesn't understand why people drive strangely around him.

    Feds Bust Local Dolphin Masturbation Ring

    A massive dolphin masturbation ring was busted up outside the Nevada City, CA city limits by Federal officials working with the local Sheriff.

    Self-Driving Car Totaled After Bigfoot Encounter Near North San Juan

    When the Highway Patrol arrived on the scene, they found a mess of twisted metal and a little bit of hair.

    Local Weather Balloon Experiment Proves Earth is Taco-shaped.

    A group of researchers from the remote Sierra Nevada Foothills community of North San Juan launched a P54-a3 high-altitude weather balloon late last week and discovered that the earth is curved like a taco.

    My Sexbot Cut Off My Penis, Claims Area Man

    An area man is recovering in Sierra Nevada Memorial hospital after his "sexbot" malfunctioned and cut off his penis. Dustin Jayce Dickens of Penn Valley, CA purchased the life-sized sex toy last last month after became the first retailer to offer the robotic sex dolls.

    Facebook to Allow Area Man’s ‘Merman Nipples’

    "Dusk" James Tilson of Nevada City, CA will be allowed to bare his nipples on Facebook after winning a protected battle with the social media giant.

    BriarPatch Adds Roundabout Around Salad Bar

    Grass Valley's BriarPatch COOP has installed a traffic roundabout around its salad bar to mixed reaction.

    No Takers For Free Color Television With VCR in Alta Sierra

    Nancy Woods of Alta Sierra has found no takers for her free 19 inch color television with built-in VCR after advertising the item on the popular local call KNCO radio show Swap Shop.

    Jesus Christ Fails to Restore Power to California Residents, Despite Frequent Thoughts and Prayers

    After the county and PG and E failed to plan for what everyone knew would be "that storm," many took to churches and prayers for help.

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