Satire

The Rundex Family Foundation has published a study confirming that Jesus, like all humans, farted. Underwritten by Divinity Beans, Inc., the findings have led to bizarre corporate tie-ins, including religious-themed digestive aids. Meanwhile, Nevada City is protesting the “blasphemy,” while Grass Valley capitalizes on it with a new "Heavenly Flatulence" tour. Chief Data Scientist Robert Colvin maintains, “The data doesn’t lie.”

The new oversized Stanley Cup mug is taking the town by storm, and women are loving it—except for one small issue: it’s nearly impossible to carry! From strained backs to impromptu arm workouts, this mug has become both a status symbol and a struggle. See how locals are handling (or failing to handle) their new favorite hydration obsession.

Just when you thought Nevada City politics couldn’t get any stranger, leaked excerpts from Laura Loomer’s upcoming speech reveal she’s running for mayor—and her platform includes banning kombucha, building a moat around City Hall, and declaring Nevada City an independent MAGA kingdom. Because, of course. Tune in tomorrow as Loomer makes the official announcement at the Nevada County Republican dinner. #OnlyInNevadaCity #LoomerForMayor?

Stacy Grant, Nevada City’s queen of quirky, has turned the entire stock of San Quentin’s Handicraft Shop into Broad Street’s oddest new thrift store. With a reluctant Toby “Doob” Carnevale slouching behind the counter, selling inmate-made ashtrays and license plates, this shop is a must-see for anyone looking for a dash of “prison chic” with their kombucha.

Nevada City's long-running plan to install stop signs at every intersection is back on, with a new deadline of December 2024. Residents are bracing for "Naturally Halted 2020" (Extended Edition), a traffic control nightmare that has been met with disbelief, sarcasm, and plenty of eye-rolling. Expect your drives through town to slow down—significantly—and maybe forever.

After Elon Musk tweeted about the Del Oro Theatre’s decision to cancel Matt Walsh’s controversial film, an Iowa man, Eric Steinberg, vowed to boycott the theater—despite never having visited or lived near Grass Valley. His one-man protest, driven by Musk’s outrage, is both comical and telling of how social media outrage spirals out of control.

Protests erupt as the Del Oro Theater in Grass Valley refuses to screen Matt Walsh’s controversial film Am I Racist, prompting outrage from Walsh and Elon Musk. While the right-wing duo cries “censorship,” local activists applaud the decision, steering the community clear of divisive rhetoric. In the end, the Del Oro stands firm, prioritizing unity over outrage.

KNCO spent an entire day accusing Nevada County's homeless of eating ducks, cats, and even poaching Bigfoot for jerky. As if the claims weren't bizarre enough, local cryptid enthusiast Dale Hawkins was dragged into the chaos. With no retraction in sight, KNCO continues its fearmongering, favoring wild conspiracy over responsible journalism.

A local Norwegian family from the Cascade Shores housing development is in hot water for attempting to cremate a deceased relative on Scotts Flat Lake earlier today. The Barstad family recently lost their patriarch, Norman Barstad, who had lived with them at their Spanish Lane home.