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    Nevada City Cat Loses 10lbs on New Pet Ozempic Treatment

    A Nevada City cat named Mittens has lost 10 pounds on Pet Ozempic, a new trend that’s diverting the diabetes drug from humans to pets. As local pet owners embrace this weight-loss craze, diabetics in the community face medication shortages, raising ethical concerns about prioritizing pet wellness over human health in Nevada County.

    Area Home Gardener Harvests Single $9.37 Tomato

    Herman M. Dean, a Nevada City gardener, harvested a $9.37 tomato after spending $750 and four months on his garden. Despite setbacks, including deer attacks, Dean's efforts highlight the high cost of local, organic gardening. While advocates praise the quality of homegrown produce, critics question its sustainability. Dean remains optimistic about reducing costs in future seasons

    How to Leapfrog the CVS Pharmacy Line by Faking Explosive Diarrhea

    Tired of waiting in endless CVS pharmacy lines? This satirical guide introduces the "Explosive Diarrhea Deception," a cheeky method to leapfrog the queue by feigning a bathroom emergency. With tips on the right acting techniques and ethical considerations, this article humorously explores the fine line between clever tactics and social responsibility—perfect for when patience runs thin and prescriptions can’t wait.

    Bigfoot Sheds Pounds on Ozempic, Locals Claim Sightings Up 200%

    In Grass Valley, Bigfoot has reportedly slimmed down thanks to the diabetes drug Ozempic, sparking a wave of sightings and speculation. Locals suggest the creature's newfound confidence may be behind its increased visibility. Meanwhile, pharmacies struggle to keep up with demand as humans and cryptids alike clamor for the weight-loss effects, leaving actual diabetics in a bind.

    Mysterious Light Beam Photographed Over Nevada City, CA

    A picture of the mysterious light beam taken by Toby "Doob" Carnevale of Nevada City.

    KVMR To Run 24-72 Hours Of Continuous Lawrence Welk

    KVMR hopes to offset what is perceived as a liberal-dominated format with Lawrence Welk marathons.

    Internet Filters Blocking Gr*** Valley for Containing the Word, A**

    Nevada City is Safe… Unless the Urban Dictionary Invents a New, Nasty Definition For It

    Area Racist Claims He’s Been Canceled by ‘Woke Mafia’

    Jerry Caustic, a local Nazi sympathizer, is claiming that he's being silenced by the "woke mafia" who want to cancel anyone who doesn't agree with their liberal agenda. However, his claims are not based on any reality, and many are pointing out that they are simply fabricated concerns from fringe media outlets. It's time to confront and condemn hate speech and Nazi ideology in all forms.

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