Grass Valley, CA — The BriarPatch COOP quietly announced that it now has an entire section of Grocery Outlet groceries. The move, expected to draw that critical “I can’t afford to shop at the BriarPatch” demographic, started without fanfare about a month ago. But, according to the BriarPatch, they didn’t want to make a big deal about it.

“We realize that most of Nevada County can’t afford to shop at the BriarPatch. So we wanted the community to know we have been listening and working with our local Grocery Outlet to provide more economical options for our customers,” BriarPatch spokesperson Pender Gates.

When sampling the new Grocery Outlet aisle, customers will be treated to previously frozen Kirkland Kielbasa Sausage, Disney-themed noodles, dog treats shaped like cats, lemon-flavored egg juice, hot dog water popsicles, Sex and the City-themed Schnapps, and abnormally-sized jars of almost expired pickled carrots.

For its part, Grocery Outlet is not reciprocating.

“We see no reason to have a BriarPatch section in our store, nor do we want to entertain the idea. Most BriarPatch employees shop at Grocery Outlet. I think you have all the answers you need.”